The party’s over

Well, friends…today marks year 11 of that fateful day I left life as I knew it for an adventure beyond belief. I ended up making a tough decision to leave New Zealand in October 2023 and come back “home.” The distance from family and friends felt too far and only visiting once every couple of years just didn’t seem right anymore. I was fortunate (and grateful) that mom and Ed fixed up the garage office for me, turning it into a self-contained unit, providing me with a soft landing. Upon my arrival, my good friends from decades past helped find me a car to buy (thanks Paul and Christine!) which was an absolute necessity here.

The months leading up to my departure were highly emotional, confusing and questionable, to say the least. Digging up the roots I had planted with my partner, friends and clients was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. The last couple of weeks, I went on auto-pilot and just tried to make it through the days, only half believing the choice I had made. Possibly not fully grasping the impact it would really have on my life going forward. Honestly, I still don’t know much more as I sit here today than I did five months ago.

I do miss my life back in New Zealand and all of the people I grew close to. I spent almost ten years there and it seriously went by in a flash. I suppose it made me aware, once again, time flies when you’re having fun and it’s easy to forget that you’re growing older with each passing day. The good news is that I’ve gained a new client here who will be working closely within the community, so it’s nice to feel like I can put to work the things I learned from my own little town in New Zealand. It’s great to have the support of my family and friends here, not to mention being able to see them any time I want to.

I kind of have a rough draft of my future, but mostly it’s as hazy as this fog covered morning I’m looking out on. It’s a good analogy of not being able to see what’s coming next…and that’s ok. You never know what’s going to happen later today or next week or next year. All you can do is hang on for the ride and stay positive. Believe that the choices you made were the right ones because your gut, heart or mind said they were.

Looking back at the past decade plus were some of the best times of my life and all because I DID listen to my heart and took those leaps without knowing what would transpire. I don’t regret a single day. While not all of them were bright and cheery, I learned from all of my experiences and I got to know many people and cultures which helped me grow into the person I am today.

Like my dad said, “Life doesn’t come with an instruction book.” Words of wisdom I keep repeating to myself as reassurance that it’s ok to not know what’s coming next. That it’s alright to make mistakes and own up to them…to cry when you feel like you need a release and to do what’s best for yourself. So thank you, my friends and family, for helping me with this transition and having my back when I needed it. I love you all so much and want you to know you mean the world to me!

4 thoughts on “11 Years as an Expat (Almost)

  1. Happy Anniversary! What a wild ride you have had. I love what you wrote about following your heart and taking life one day at a time. Wise, wise words!

  2. Hi, Steph…. I am sure this has been a melancholy time… transitions often are. That means that what you’ve left has great meaning and value for you. But good for you – remaining after your time had past would mean that you were stuck – even in a good place. Congratulations and best wishes in embracing new opportunities and adventures. You continue to be an inspiration. Welcome home.

    1. Thank you, Jan…that was a lovely comment to make. You bring some more words of wisdom to the table as well. I’ve always said that paradise isn’t always as it seems. The Welsh side of the family had a desire to wander, so that must be where I got it from. I have more places to explore and one day, I’ll find the right place for me! xx

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